The ABCs of Parenting

Dec 3, 2019 | Fred Toke, Parenting

The ABCs of Parenting

As parents, we are potentially the most influential people in our children’s lives. In parenting, we need to be mindful of how we are shaping our children’s minds and their future functions in society.

So here is my ABC’s of PARENTING:


Accept your children unconditionally as opposed to comparing them to others. Children who feel rejected may have a higher risk of decreased academic performance, experiencing bullying, or becoming bullies themselves. They can also have higher chances of developing mental health issues including depression and anxiety, behavior problems, and isolation (Nixon, 2010)


Believe in them. One of the reasons why children lie is because they don’t feel trusted. Through building a trusting relationship, your children may be comfortable to talk to you about difficult things


Challenge your children to come out of their comfort zone and accomplish their potential. “We know that being able to tolerate discomfort is a wonderful life trait, and in addition to that, it makes them grittier and more resilient,” says Dr. Harold S. Koplewicz, a child and adolescent psychiatrist and the founding president of the Child Mind Institute.


Deuteronomy 6:4-7 tells parents to teach their children the ways of God diligently. “You shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”


While we can’t give confidence, we can give courage by becoming their biggest cheerleaders. Words of encouragement can have powerful positive effects on children, and it can also help condition a child to repeat the desired behaviors.

Raise Champions by “Train(ing) up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6

Fred Tokė aka Dr. Tokėmon is a Clinical Psychologist by training, was a former adjunct professor at Nanyang Technological University. He is also a guest lecturer at the University Malaysia Sabah’s Faculty of Medicine. Besides teaching, he also provides clinical psychotherapy services to the downtrodden and the discouraged.

Check out Dr. Toke’s Article Archive HERE.

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