Step Up When Stepped Upon

May 22, 2023 | Fred Toke, Lifestyle

step up - featured

Whether it be an insult, unwarranted criticism, malicious gossip, or even physical abuse, we all may experience situations where we feel like we are constantly being stepped upon.

When these happen frequently, it is important to note that the fault lies not only with those who stepped on us. We have to take responsibility for our actions and take steps to step up and protect ourselves.



Here are three ways to learn how to step up when being stepped upon :

Start with Yourself

Before becoming emotionally reactive, we must turn inwards and evaluate ourselves. Was there anything we may have done to project to others that we’re an easy target? For instance, when we stay silent while being abused, we may have inevitably sent a message of consent. While we are called to be humble and meek, that doesn’t mean weakness. On the contrary, meekness is about being quietly confident without all the fuss and noise but having the courage to confront whenever it calls for such measures.

We have to take responsibility for our actions and take steps to step up and protect ourselves.

Identify the Source of the Problem

Apart from our own attitudes, we need to identify the source too. For example, it may be just one or a few people making life difficult for us. It will not make our situation any more manageable when we put all 7.8 billion people in the world in the same boat as these few individuals. Once we have identified the source, create an action plan for confronting these individuals about their inappropriate behaviors. This could include thinking through what we need to do, the words we want to use, and the attitude we want to convey when projecting ourselves to them. Also, consider asking for help from a mediator when needed — these added resources can assist us in remaining strong and assertive, even in the most challenging moments.

Take Action

Once everything is in place, we can take action and focus on addressing the issue as effectively and meaningfully as possible. Remain level-headed and composed when expressing ourselves and addressing the matter so that our points of view are heard and understood. In addition, taking direct action will help ensure that those overstepping their boundaries know that their behavior is unacceptable and will be held accountable for it. The bottom line is that it is vital to take action to rectify the situation.

Taking small steps to build up our confidence and protect ourselves can significantly impact how we navigate the situation and, ultimately, the outcome of it.

Stand up for yourself. Never give anyone permission to abuse you.” ― Lailah Gifty Akita

The only way he knew how to conquer the demon, was by confronting it.” ― Shad’e Zuiweta

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.” ― Ephesians 6:13

Fred Tokè aka Dr. Tokèmon
#drtokèmon

Fred Tokė aka Dr. Tokėmon is a Clinical Psychologist by training, was a former adjunct professor at Nanyang Technological University. He is also a guest lecturer at the University Malaysia Sabah’s Faculty of Medicine. Besides teaching, he also provides clinical psychotherapy services to the downtrodden and the discouraged.

Check out Dr. Toke’s Article Archive HERE.

Follow Dr. Tokemon’s Facebook page HERE.

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