Reliving Isn’t Living. Live. Free. Now.

May 14, 2021 | Fred Toke, Lifestyle

Reliving is not living

Living our lives freed from our past can be refreshing. We can embrace an identity liberated from any cynicism, pride, fear, distrust, self-doubt, anxieties, etc. While self-reflection is necessary, reliving our past can be disturbing. Dwelling and magnifying our past miseries or even victories only serve to increase our anguish or skewed expectations.


Studies show that continuing to relive the past, even in our glorious moments, often leads to mental health or interpersonal difficulties. The more we reminisce, the more problems we have adapting to our present situations. As a result, some may experience depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, and anxiety.  


Our hopes for tomorrow are dependent on how we live and the choices we make today. There is nothing we can do about the past, and reliving it isn’t going to change anything, for better or worse. Now, at this very moment, we have the power to change our today and henceforth.

Do take a moment to quieten our minds and contemplate what’s going on within and without us. Take a deep breath and be aware of our “here and now.” Pray for renewed strength and the ability to see the big picture. The past may play a small part in it, but it shouldn’t dictate or occupy the entire plot. Live in the moment and engage your future. Our lives will be fuller, more productive, and more abundant for it. 

Don’t be trapped reliving your past and hinder your full potential of the present.

As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.” —  Nelson Mandela

Don’t long for ‘the good old days.’ This is not wise.” Ecclesiastes 7:10

Brothers., I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lie behind and straining forward to what lies ahead.” Philippians 3:13 

Remember not the former things, consider the things of old.” Isaiah 43:18 

Fred Tokè aka Dr. Tokèmon

Fred Tokė aka Dr. Tokėmon is a Clinical Psychologist by training, was a former adjunct professor at Nanyang Technological University. He is also a guest lecturer at the University Malaysia Sabah’s Faculty of Medicine. Besides teaching, he also provides clinical psychotherapy services to the downtrodden and the discouraged.

Check out Dr. Toke’s Article Archive HERE.

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