Husbandry 101: When Wives Have a Lot of Questions

May 23, 2020 | Adrian Ding, Marriage

Husbandry 101: When Wife has alot of Questions

Side A wrote a song entitled “So many questions.” Well, we can all relate, to the title at least, because it encapsulates what’s on the minds of so many people today. The biggest question is: “When is this all going to end?”

Needless to say, my wife has a lot of questions of her own. Every night we talk and I become her shock absorber. My wife is a worrier. Big or small, she’s constantly thinking. These questions keep coming:

  • when are we going to bounce back?
  • will our business survive?
  • how safe are the kids?
  • what about our plans for the future?

I wish I could say “The answers are so few…” but the truth is, I don’t have all the answers. All I could ever do was listen, embrace, and cry with her, each time discouragement sets in.

As a husband, I never want to let my wife or kids down. I want to give them hope, encouragement, and strength amidst these challenges. But what’s ideal is not real. Sometimes we run empty too and we begin to doubt ourselves if we’re doing enough to provide not just financially but emotionally and more so, spiritually.

Now faith is the anchor, but works should be the outflow. So on the practical side of things, I think we husbands should discern our wife’s feelings.

So I turned to the Book of Life. And here’s what I got:

For you have made the LORD, my refuge, even the Most High, your dwelling place. No evil will befall you, nor will any plague come near your tent.” — Psalm 91: 9-10)

How do I explain this?

I heard a story about a family who survived a huge hurricane that swept their city.

But even before that, the husband made sure that he stocked his basement with emergency supplies. He saved it in a barrel and made sure the area had all the necessities. He trained his kids on what to expect and how to prepare. And he had talked about this with his wife, even if she knew that he was preparing too far ahead. Then the big day came. And the hour was near. All of them ran to the basement. Imagine this scene: the 2 small children were holding on to their mother’s skirt. And mom fastened her arms around her husband’s waist. But she was not looking at the storm. Instead, she was looking closely at her husband’s eyes: he was staring directly at the storm through a small glass. All it took for them to stay strong, was looking through the eyes of the father. Because they saw eyes of faith, not fear, they could all brace themselves for impact. Eventually, they survived the storm, started life all over again and now they’re back on their feet, better and stronger than before.

I don’t think every husband can answer the pressing questions a wife throws at him. Maybe he can, but not all. There is a lot of uncertainty today. In situations like this, we can either be overly bravado or we can put our faith and fix our eyes on God alone, to Whom we draw wisdom, strength, and confidence. So I encouraged my wife and told her this: “We will get through this. God is with us, beside us and behind us. Put your faith on Him more than me. Because He is all we’ve got, and He’s all we will ever need.”

Now faith is the anchor, but works should be the outflow. So on the practical side of things, I think we husbands should discern our wife’s feelings. We need to consistently secure the emotional and spiritual stability in our homes, but we must never forget to keep working hard, taking care of our family’s needs, serving without entitlement, focusing on their well-being, and most importantly on their well-becoming. A storm reveals so much of our character and as the moral authority of our homes, how we lead in difficult times, reveals our character too. We need to find solutions and answers, to those many questions. And the answers come from Him Who holds us under His wings.


Husband, Dad, Corporate Trainer, Motivational Speaker, Inspirational Writer, and Catalyst of Change.

Founder/Lead Trainer at The Academy for Extraordinary Teens Founder, Chief Empowering Officer at Maximum Impact Philippines.

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Help us REFRESH others with the life-giving Word of God today!

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