Finding Your True North

Mar 8, 2021 | Fred Toke, Lifestyle

Find your true north

We will easily get overwhelmed and soon feel exhausted from trying to do too much when we do not focus on what fuels and guides us. However, we will discover peace, energy, and resilience once we have found our true calling in life.

Using the hourglass as an illustration, here are three stages in our lives that will help us find our true north.


The big open-top represents the necessity to be open to experiment. Take as much as you can through this step and find out what turns you on and invigorates you. Slowly but surely, filter out unnecessary things and begin to focus on one reference point to keep you moving in the right direction.


The middle part of the hourglass represents focus and leverage. That’s where you’ll spend time and energy to expand your knowledge and expertise to be competent in your passionate fields. Meanwhile, take inspiration and learn from those who have more experience. This does not mean life will be easy from now on. But when you live your passion with skill, it’s a lot easier to stay on track and deal with the storms ahead. This step is where you may have found your true identity and authenticity, and people may gravitate toward you (or not) based on that.


After you have found your specialization, you can expand it to be more versatile. In my case, as a Psychologist, I could expand my scope in the areas of consulting, counseling, coaching, teaching, or conduct public seminars of training.

However, one must be mindful of the following FIVE things in your search to find your true NORTH:

NARRATIVES: “Out of the heart, the mouth speaks.” The story you tell about yourself affects your life and your future. Tweak your negative narratives if they are not leading you anywhere with them.

OBJECTIVES: “Without vision, men perish.” The process of setting objectives helps you decide where you want to go in life. Knowing exactly what you want to accomplish will also allow you to quickly spot the distractions that can so easily lead you astray.

RESILIENCE: “Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial.” Psychologists define resilience as the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or significant sources of stress. As much as resilience involves “bouncing back” from such difficult experiences, it can also affect profound personal growth.

TALENTS: “Having gifts that differ.” Natural talents are part of who you are – they can be artistic talents, intelligence, physical strength, organizational skills, etc. For some, these talents are “hidden” – unknown and unused until a life circumstance forces them to emerge from hiding.

HELPING OTHERS: “As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another.” It can sound surprising, but finding the purpose of one’s life is not all about oneself. If there is only one habit you can make to help you find your purpose, it would be to help others. As a “giver” in any relationship, it ties you to having a more oriented life.

We can all begin to pursue our passions now. Do pay attention to what you already have and build from there. Never be afraid to seize every opportunity that presents itself each day, and learn from them. Don’t forget that this is a process, so don’t rush – take advantage of it to thrive, and you’ll begin to feel the incredible energy in your life!

“Just as a compass points toward a magnetic field, your True North pulls you toward the purpose of your leadership. When you follow your internal compass, your leadership will be authentic, and people will naturally want to associate with you. Although others may guide or influence you, your truth is derived from your life story, and only you can determine what it should be.” ~ Bill George, True North: Discover Your Authentic Leadership

Fred Toké aka Dr. Tokémon

Fred Tokė aka Dr. Tokėmon is a Clinical Psychologist by training, was a former adjunct professor at Nanyang Technological University.

He is also a guest lecturer at the University Malaysia Sabah’s Faculty of Medicine. Besides teaching, he also provides clinical psychotherapy services to the downtrodden and the discouraged.

Check out Dr. Toke’s Article Archive HERE.

Follow Dr. Tokemon’s Facebook page HERE.

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