Victim Mindset: A Sure Way to Never Move Forward

I see it quite often. It is not limited to gender, race, social position, financial status, or life accomplishment. It does not seem to be connected to the size of the problem or the breadth of the opposition. It is not related to failure. It is not determined by whose fault the situation is.

Rather, the mindset that completely precludes any future growth is the “victim” mindset.

Victims see themselves as being unfairly treated. They view themselves as always persecuted, misunderstood, or abandoned. To be fair, we may all be victims of someone’s anger, revenge, or malice. Life happens, and people can be cruel. But that does not mean we need to embrace the feelings associated with this.

A victim views his sincerity as a sign of his “rightness”. He says, “I am sincere, therefore I am right.” Criticisms and suggestions are viewed as opposition. Victims don’t like correction, because correction reinforces the belief that people oppose them.

The victim feels helpless, feels like his hands are tied; and feels like things are beyond his control with no positive solutions in mind.

It is possible to be sincerely wrong.

It is also possible that criticism is caused by our performance. Maybe suggestions come from people who truly want to see things improve about us, but we have interpreted them as criticism.

When we are stuck in “victim” mode, 4 things happen.

All our mental energy is geared toward survival.

Protecting against the opposition becomes primary.

Our focus becomes on how we’ve been wronged rather than how we can live a healthy life.

Sometimes we step over into a sick mental space where we over-spiritualize our trauma, blaming it on demons or demonically inspired people. (Granted, at times opposition within ministry environments does have a demonic component but for leaders why would that matter? If you are a Christian you have known since day one that you have and will have spiritual opposition at times. This is not a picnic!)

We must move from victimization to leadership. Leadership is about creating positive change. No excuses, no complaints, no fault finding. I’m the leader and it’s up to me to make a difference.

Where there is no leadership, nothing changes. That is the key; if nothing is changing for the good, no one is leading. Question: Are you leading yourself?

It is a sad commentary that many sincere godly leaders are stuck in the mud of the “victim mentality.”

Real leaders are never victims — at least not for long. When it seems that everything is wrong and everyone is against us and nothing is growing or moving forward, a true leader says, “Something must be done, and I better do that something.”

We must move from victimization to leadership. Leadership is about creating positive change. No excuses, no complaints, no fault finding.

That something is not the following:

OFFENSE: Attacking those who attack. It is not a counterstrike.

DEFENSE: It is not building a bunker to huddle down for the long fight.

It is exactly the opposite. Here’s a story that illustrates what leadership rather than victimization is.

During WW2, often in the middle of a battle, General MacArthur would stand up in his vehicle or on the battlefield to get a better look at the situation. Other officers in fright would yell at him to please get down lest he get shot. He would always reply, “Don’t worry about me. You can’t die before your time.”

So there he stood in the line of fire and directed the battle. And he did not die there! He lived to be an old man.
I don’t advocate standing up for sniper fire, but I do advocate that leadership mentality. When personal battles come, or your workplace is a battlefield, or even your ministry or church has struggles and differences and divisions, stand up and direct the future.

The only one who is truly a victim is the one who has given up. I’ve known far too many leaders who hide or have themselves protected by others. No one gets to them. They are no longer out front working on the future. Now it’s all about protecting their legacy or staying safe.

Just a few things will turn this around:

1. WHERE. Take a long serious look at where you are and how you got there.
2. WHY. Identify why you are there.
3. HOW. Consider your options. There is always more than one solution.
4. POSITIVITY. Do not complain about where things are.
5. MOVE. Decide to do something that moves your life, business, or people forward.
6. STOP WITH THE BOOHOO. Stop crying over what is not right. Joy comes in the morning.

Be a leader. Stand up to the sniper fire. And guess what? Something will change. You will be energized, positive, and powerful.

YOU WILL NO LONGER FEEL LIKE A VICTIM.

Dennis Heppner grew up in Canada and was called to ministry as a young boy. Dennis and his wife Denie, who was also called to missions as a child, pastored 4 churches in Canada, but in 1987 the door opened to come to the Philippines as missionaries. They brought their 4 eldest children with them and the kids grew up here. In 2006 they adopted Emma Rose, a special Filipino treasure and a gift from God to their family.

Dennis has been a missionary evangelist in Asia for 25 years. He was the director of LIFESCHOOLS of ministry and pastored 3 churches in the early years of his ministry based in the Philippines. He is currently the founder and President of Developing Effective Leaders (DEL), superintendent of Church of God West Asia, and the founding and lead Pastor of the vibrant, growing Church of God Makati.

Dennis and Denie and their whole family, including Josh and Melody who live in Canada, are committed to missions, leadership, and the call of Christ.

Read more of Ptr. Dennis’ articles are HERE!

Featured Image from Nutter (Army), Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons