Listen to the Devotional
The full-page ad in the newspaper has troubled me for weeks. Pictured in color was a beautiful young woman radiating intelligence, beauty, and charm. Beneath was the caption, “Character may be imitated. Leadership, however, is cultivated.” While I applaud the companies who paid for the ad, those who wrote the copy didn’t get it completely right. True, you can cultivate leadership. But you cannot build character through imitation. Pretending to demonstrate what you really lack is projecting a false front that wilts in the heat of temptation and pressure. Either you have it or you don’t.
Character is never built by imitation. Yes, of course, many do imitate it. Those are the ones who eventually are disgraced, who are exposed for what they really are. Building character in a youthful generation who have grown up with fuzzy ideas about morality and character is not easy today. Why? Because the character building page from the book of life was missing in the lives of many of their parents and role models.
So, how do you build character in a child?
First, you as a parent show a youngster what character is by how you live. You become the message. It isn’t the perception of character that counts—it’s character itself. Integrity, doing what you say you will do, telling the whole truth, being open and honest, is what character is about, totally different from leadership, which has nothing to do with character and everything to do with power and influence.
When you respect the rights of others, you teach your child: this is part of character.
Then teaching what is right and wrong enforces your example. When you instruct somebody to say, “Tell them he’s not home” when you simply don’t want to take a call, you’re teaching ethics—the negative kind. When you come through customs and fail to provide an honest declaration, you’re really teaching, “It’s OK to lie as long as you don’t get caught.” At the same time, when you go to a restaurant and the waiter fails to charge you enough and you bring that to his attention, you are teaching a very positive lesson of honesty.
Situations, which are less than pleasant, also demonstrate what character is about. When you respect the rights of others, you teach your child: this is part of character. When you fail, and admit your failure and correct your mistake, you are also teaching a powerful lesson—and making amends for your failure shows how strong you really are.
Introducing your youngster to heroes who have faced moral dilemmas also enables a child to develop character. Teach them about Mohandas Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jose Rizal, and yes, biblical characters who faced difficult moral choices. Introduce them to Joseph, who was tempted sexually by the wife of Potiphar, and tell them about Daniel and his companions who had the integrity and character to refuse to go along with the crowd.
Teach them biblical truths, that God honors those who stand for right, and will eventually judge those who mimic character but have no moral fiber and backbone. Memorizing passages of Scripture which help us know that God will strengthen us in times of temptation also reinforces what you do and what you say.
A final thought. Some of you grew up without an understanding of character and you aren’t sure if you have it or not. Begin by praying, “God, from today on, I don’t want to imitate character. I want to have the real thing.” Then, go to God’s Word in simple obedience, and follow the instruction of this grand old book. Take life a day at a time and make the right decisions. You’ll develop character.
Resource reading: Genesis 39.
