So the owner of a crocodile farm challenged a bunch of tourists that if any of them could jump on the infested waters, swim across a distance, and survive, he would give them a million dollars. No one dared. Suddenly a man jumped, swam as fast as he could and made it! Surprised, the owner asked him: “What was your motivation? The money?” He said “No, I never jumped! My wife actually PUSHED me!”
As husbands, we all need a push sometimes and I’m glad that my wife fits the bill.
Before getting married, she and my mom had an intimate conversation and one of the topics was how I could improve. So she gave Shelley pointers about me, and since she’s seen my weaknesses for most of my life she said “Push him!”
And boy she did.
Husbands need to be pushed and sometimes the best person to do that is our wives. That’s because the world’s standard is that all men ought to be strong, but behind the scenes, only his wife can see his true vulnerabilities. That’s because her voice of reason punctures through his thin sheet of bravado and her personal perception is separate from his public persona. She observes him in the background, and she knows that he can still be better. The recognition his friends, peers, and clients give him bloats the ego, but it also desensitizes him to push beyond the boundaries of such acclaim. This is where a strong wife comes in—as the ultimate helpmate, encourager, and nurturer. She is often mistaken as a hurtful critic but the truth is she was designed by God to help us become a better version of ourselves.
As husbands, we need a push from settling for mediocrity. We confuse contentment with healthy, worthwhile ambition. We argue that work is hard and they should be grateful were bringing home the bacon, but we haven’t really gone the extra mile or dared to do even more than our comfort zone.
We need a push from our passivity. We are so gung-ho when it comes to handling work matters yet lack the sensitivity and proactivity in dealing with certain issues at home because we feel it’s not really major. We think being a good provider is a ‘straight A’ on our report card when in reality it’s only the bare minimum. We are fine with an 84 but what is to stop us from shooting for a 95? We have to be planners of the future, goal-setters, and goal-achievers. Husbands gotta back up the talk with the walk. We spend hours on a hobby like sports, movies, games, upgrading a car’s stereos yet have no time (or patience) to troubleshoot menial issues or bond and discipline the children.
Each time I do a talk, I have this tendency to fish for compliments from my wife and one look is enough for me to know if I did great. She would give her in-your-face remark like “Not your best, kulang, it was so-so, I’ve heard it before…” and I’m like “Try being a trainer kuno!” (screaming in my mind). Or if we had closed a big deal with a client, I’d celebrate and she’d say “Are you satisfied with that? You’re still behind your target.” Or if I had this grandiose plan she’d tell me “So when are you going to start? What are you going to do? Is that all you had in mind?” And when she notices my belly, she’ll tell me “It’s getting bigger. You have to do more sets!”
Excitement dwindles. And anger is tempting. I feel like pulling the trigger.
But truthfully, her intention was just to challenge me to level up. She doesn’t want me to wade along the shores of satisfaction but she is pushing me to jump in the deep waters of fulfillment.
Here’s what I realized: my wife married me not just to agree and wait on me but to push me. To unleash my full potential. To challenge the status quo. To BE better and DO better. And all that is motivated by love for me.
So I think I married my Mom. But Mom was right. I married the right person for me. Because all I need is a little push.
Thank you, sweetheart! I simply can’t imagine my life without you in it!